I really valued reading this piece. It highlights how many Black individuals have internalized the inferiority complex that others often impose on them, letting these external definitions shape their identity without true understanding. I firmly believe that only I can define what being Black means for me, based on my own unique experiences. Kudos to you for writing this piece, as I believe it will free others to embrace others as humanity.
I love this and wholeheartedly agree. I am a Black women who chooses to live in San Francisco (vs Oakland). I am constantly told I should live in Oakland because, "...there are more Black people." My response is always, "I belong where I'm at." Oakland is fine, but I love San Francisco and I won't allow others views to determine where I belong and where I don't. So often we self-segregate and impose limitations in ourselves -- doing the racists work for them.
Powerful. And a lesson in selfhood that can cross to many other forms of self-imposed limitation and pre-supposed prejudice. If you are lucky in 20-30 years you will present to yourselves and to others as “older” then “old” then “elderly.” If you think being seen and judged for your color is painful try not being seen at all. A competent person of power stoops a bit and wizens, and suddenly is called “spry,” the words “little old__” are preface to your gender, and you are patronized and passed over. Then it starts all over again, finding a way to be oneself as the self transforms in a way none of us escapes.Thank you for your essay.
Yes. There are many other forms of self-imposed limitation. I survived horrible child abuse and lived for many years with the feeling that because my bio, foster, and adoptive parents didn't value me and were cruel, that I was a nothing - that there was something inherently wrong with me.
It takes courage and tenacity to move yourself out of this box of conditioned limitations and the first hurdle is learning to believe that you have a right to a larger and freer existence. The second hurdle is retraining your own mind to achieve it. I was lucky enough to not have to battle societal stereotypes (excepting those imposed on women) surrounding color, but I understand the journey to some degree.
I respect those who battle and defeat this mind bug and claim their rightful space and voice as a human being.
This article resonated with me in a deeply personal way. Although my mom was a Holocaust survivor, she refused to think of herself as a victim. She also said that in Warsaw, Poland from 1945 until my family was able to leave in 1968, she encounter little antisemitism. That's like saying you have encountered little racism in a northern city in the U.S.. although you are black. Part of the reason her perceptions were so much different than the perceptions of most Jews was that she had the same kind of attitude as the wonderful friend described in this article. Her comfort level around non-Jewish Poles affected the way they responded to her. Also, she explained that although few Jews were communist party members, a highly disproportionate percentage of the party's leadership was Jewish, resulting in Poles thinking of "communist" and "Jew" as synonymous. Most Poles loathed the totalitarian, communist system that was imposed on Poland from 1948 to 1989. My mom explained that many Jewish people assumed that if someone was unfriendly, the motive must have been antisemitism. But it could have been anticommunism in many instances. Since my mom and her father were well known for representing political dissidents, it was less likely for people to assume they were party members. Antisemitism was extreme in Poland, especially in Eastern Poland, just as white racism toward black people was extreme in the U.S. during Jim Crow. By "extreme," I mean that instances of mass murder of thousands of Jews occurred after WWII in Eastern Poland. And plenty of people in Warsaw were antisemitic. My mom likely encountered antisemitism more than she realized, but she did not regard rudeness toward her to be necessarily motivated by antisemitism. She thought of herself and other people as individuals, not as clones on account of their ethnicity or nationality. She felt no animosity toward Germans. By giving other people the benefit of the doubt, she influenced the way they responded to her. That's why this article is so personally relevant for me. Thank you.
I enjoyed this essay immensely. We create our known world with our perception of ourselves. Others will treat us as we treat ourselves. "Change your thoughts. Change your world."
I wonder how many realize this is probably human nature, among some, a mindset we adopt somewhere along the line. This old white woman pretty much understood your emotions and fears, simply because I spent too many years of my life feeling somehow inferior to those around me, and mostly hanging back. I think I'm over most of it, and I'm not sure where it came from, but I remember distinctly wondering, one day, why all of the kids around me were better than me. Maybe it was growing up poor, and not having what other kids had. Being "different," at my age now is fine. It's a lot harder when you're young.
Definitely resonates at the level of “I self-sabotaged with beliefs that turned out to be incorrect”. As I change my beliefs and actions, by golly my life is getting better and more joyful! And I continue to discover a joyful community of fellow human beings.
It was fun to find this. It reminds me how fortunately confident I have been in a kind of original blackness that few Americans have - that is to say I was part of an original black nationalist family and we all walked away from that. If there was anyone who understood this similarly it was Stanley Crouch who, like my father, was one of the original Watts Poets. The downside of that was that without being self-defeated, and without any sort of animosity to non-black people, I followed the existential aesthetic politics too long.
Still, I always understood that the movement was a moment and a new one would replace it. How disappointing those follow-on movements were. Transcending racial identity is key but the more important move is race abolition itself. Overcoming racial stereotypes for the goals of self-esteem and collegiality is a highschool curriculum, Beuller, but it's never too late to calculate that algebra.
What amazes me is the extent to which I want to agree with (or co-opt) the term 'internalized white supremacy', but in the end that is a potent tool for black racialists who claim there is no real power in the idea of race itself. Blackified fish are swimming in that same ocean. Time to grow some lungs and feet and start stepping.
As a final note, it will slowly dawn on organic black divergents that the historic Struggle was not to be typecast in the first place. This is why the overwhelming majority of national black projects fail. If one actually loves freedom, one will love freedom from blackness and one will quickly discover how much has been appropriated for selfish and lazy reasons. With any luck, one doesn't merely swap idols. Welcome to the dawn.
I really valued reading this piece. It highlights how many Black individuals have internalized the inferiority complex that others often impose on them, letting these external definitions shape their identity without true understanding. I firmly believe that only I can define what being Black means for me, based on my own unique experiences. Kudos to you for writing this piece, as I believe it will free others to embrace others as humanity.
I love this and wholeheartedly agree. I am a Black women who chooses to live in San Francisco (vs Oakland). I am constantly told I should live in Oakland because, "...there are more Black people." My response is always, "I belong where I'm at." Oakland is fine, but I love San Francisco and I won't allow others views to determine where I belong and where I don't. So often we self-segregate and impose limitations in ourselves -- doing the racists work for them.
Powerful. And a lesson in selfhood that can cross to many other forms of self-imposed limitation and pre-supposed prejudice. If you are lucky in 20-30 years you will present to yourselves and to others as “older” then “old” then “elderly.” If you think being seen and judged for your color is painful try not being seen at all. A competent person of power stoops a bit and wizens, and suddenly is called “spry,” the words “little old__” are preface to your gender, and you are patronized and passed over. Then it starts all over again, finding a way to be oneself as the self transforms in a way none of us escapes.Thank you for your essay.
Yes. There are many other forms of self-imposed limitation. I survived horrible child abuse and lived for many years with the feeling that because my bio, foster, and adoptive parents didn't value me and were cruel, that I was a nothing - that there was something inherently wrong with me.
It takes courage and tenacity to move yourself out of this box of conditioned limitations and the first hurdle is learning to believe that you have a right to a larger and freer existence. The second hurdle is retraining your own mind to achieve it. I was lucky enough to not have to battle societal stereotypes (excepting those imposed on women) surrounding color, but I understand the journey to some degree.
I respect those who battle and defeat this mind bug and claim their rightful space and voice as a human being.
Thank you for this. Wishing you the best of success in all your ventures.
Ditto! If I had to to do it all over again, I would fight harder to get beyond my conditioning at a younger age.
This article resonated with me in a deeply personal way. Although my mom was a Holocaust survivor, she refused to think of herself as a victim. She also said that in Warsaw, Poland from 1945 until my family was able to leave in 1968, she encounter little antisemitism. That's like saying you have encountered little racism in a northern city in the U.S.. although you are black. Part of the reason her perceptions were so much different than the perceptions of most Jews was that she had the same kind of attitude as the wonderful friend described in this article. Her comfort level around non-Jewish Poles affected the way they responded to her. Also, she explained that although few Jews were communist party members, a highly disproportionate percentage of the party's leadership was Jewish, resulting in Poles thinking of "communist" and "Jew" as synonymous. Most Poles loathed the totalitarian, communist system that was imposed on Poland from 1948 to 1989. My mom explained that many Jewish people assumed that if someone was unfriendly, the motive must have been antisemitism. But it could have been anticommunism in many instances. Since my mom and her father were well known for representing political dissidents, it was less likely for people to assume they were party members. Antisemitism was extreme in Poland, especially in Eastern Poland, just as white racism toward black people was extreme in the U.S. during Jim Crow. By "extreme," I mean that instances of mass murder of thousands of Jews occurred after WWII in Eastern Poland. And plenty of people in Warsaw were antisemitic. My mom likely encountered antisemitism more than she realized, but she did not regard rudeness toward her to be necessarily motivated by antisemitism. She thought of herself and other people as individuals, not as clones on account of their ethnicity or nationality. She felt no animosity toward Germans. By giving other people the benefit of the doubt, she influenced the way they responded to her. That's why this article is so personally relevant for me. Thank you.
Thank you. Besides an interesting piece of honest reflection, you have a great writing style and voice.
I enjoyed this essay immensely. We create our known world with our perception of ourselves. Others will treat us as we treat ourselves. "Change your thoughts. Change your world."
I wonder how many realize this is probably human nature, among some, a mindset we adopt somewhere along the line. This old white woman pretty much understood your emotions and fears, simply because I spent too many years of my life feeling somehow inferior to those around me, and mostly hanging back. I think I'm over most of it, and I'm not sure where it came from, but I remember distinctly wondering, one day, why all of the kids around me were better than me. Maybe it was growing up poor, and not having what other kids had. Being "different," at my age now is fine. It's a lot harder when you're young.
Appreciate your willingness to share your experience and growth! Inspiring. Thank you.
Great reflection. I honestly learn so much from how Africans in America navigate the American landscape as "black" people.
Definitely resonates at the level of “I self-sabotaged with beliefs that turned out to be incorrect”. As I change my beliefs and actions, by golly my life is getting better and more joyful! And I continue to discover a joyful community of fellow human beings.
This was great! loved every word! Well done!
It was fun to find this. It reminds me how fortunately confident I have been in a kind of original blackness that few Americans have - that is to say I was part of an original black nationalist family and we all walked away from that. If there was anyone who understood this similarly it was Stanley Crouch who, like my father, was one of the original Watts Poets. The downside of that was that without being self-defeated, and without any sort of animosity to non-black people, I followed the existential aesthetic politics too long.
Still, I always understood that the movement was a moment and a new one would replace it. How disappointing those follow-on movements were. Transcending racial identity is key but the more important move is race abolition itself. Overcoming racial stereotypes for the goals of self-esteem and collegiality is a highschool curriculum, Beuller, but it's never too late to calculate that algebra.
What amazes me is the extent to which I want to agree with (or co-opt) the term 'internalized white supremacy', but in the end that is a potent tool for black racialists who claim there is no real power in the idea of race itself. Blackified fish are swimming in that same ocean. Time to grow some lungs and feet and start stepping.
As a final note, it will slowly dawn on organic black divergents that the historic Struggle was not to be typecast in the first place. This is why the overwhelming majority of national black projects fail. If one actually loves freedom, one will love freedom from blackness and one will quickly discover how much has been appropriated for selfish and lazy reasons. With any luck, one doesn't merely swap idols. Welcome to the dawn.