How to Prepare Your Child for College

Getting into the right school need not be an overwhelming task

Education

HOW TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD FOR COLLEGE

Getting into the right school need not be an overwhelming task

Michael Creswell

Editors’ note: This essay is Part I of a three-part series. Part II, “How to Flourish in College,” and Part III, “How to Apply to Graduate and Professional School,” will follow soon.

College graduation is a yearly ritual in this country. It is a moment when parents can take understandable pride in their sons and daughters taking their next step in life. But the years leading up to that joyful moment are often filled with stress. Will my child be accepted into college? Will he or she get into the right school? How will we pay for it? Parents ponder these and many other questions, but many of them are unsure if they have the right answers. To that end, I make a few recommendations to help parents prepare their children to hit the ground running when they enter college.

Start the Process Early

The time to begin preparing your child for college or university is many years before they set foot on campus. As with world-class athletes, victory is the last stop in a long and sometimes arduous journey. The harder the work you put in, the sweeter the fruits of your labor.

If your child displays the aptitude and motivation for college or university, no time is too soon—that is, if you avoid placing undue pressure on them at a tender age. In fact, rearing a child to be a well-rounded adult involves the same steps regardless of whether he or she goes to college or not. College is not for everyone.

The early steps one needs to take are basic. They include making sure children attend class regularly and complete homework assignments on time, having limits on their amount of screen time, and having lots of books in the home, preferably on a wide variety of topics. Parents should also set good examples by reading books themselves and limiting their own screen time.

Parents should take care that their child quickly masters basic math, writing, and reading skills. Failure to grasp these fundamentals at a young age will put your child at a disadvantage, not just in school but in life in general. If your child is having trouble with one or more of these fundamentals, speak to the teacher to gain greater insight into the source of the problem. Ask if the school offers tutoring resources. If not, seek them out yourself. Don’t wait until your child has fallen far behind; act as soon as you become aware of a problem.

A good home environment is also essential for children’s emotional and intellectual growth. A stable home life is much more important for future personal and professional success than a materially well-off but volatile upbringing. In fact, poverty need not be an insurmountable barrier to academic success, if children are spared the turbulence caused by the absence of a parent, or by a parent’s multiple intimate partners, by frequent moves, violence in the home, or poor foster care. An unstable home life is associated with lower rates of graduation, higher rates of addiction and crime, a lower lifetime income, and the development of undesirable personality traits. Stability is thus a key building block for future success.

Establish Good Habits

 A child’s formative years are the time for parents to instill valuable work habits. Institute quiet time so your child can study without distractions. This will reinforce the notion that schoolwork requires focus. It’s not something you do while listening to music, playing on the computer, or talking to friends. Give your children chores to do, even if they are minimal, so that they become accustomed to accepting responsibility. Make sure that tasks are completed on time and in an acceptable way. One main task is to have them clean their room every week. A messy room is demoralizing and not conducive to doing homework.

This routine is more effective when it is adhered to consistently and for the long haul. Sometimes learning a lesson once leaves a deep and permanent imprint. But often, learning a lesson once isn’t enough. Sometimes lessons must be reinforced by repetition.

Build a Strong Resume

Creating a strong personal profile is important. Colleges and universities consider several factors when deciding whether to admit an applicant. They evaluate more than grades, standardized test scores, and letters of recommendation. Admission committees, especially at more select colleges, also consider things such as extracurricular activities, community involvement, special talents, intriguing personal statements, and geographic diversity. You improve your odds of being admitted if you are well-rounded instead of narrowly focused.

Although this method is flawed—nonacademic activities don’t predict success in college, admission to graduate school, or higher future earnings—you are nonetheless better off checking as many boxes as possible. Admissions committees are making these decisions, so they are the ones you must impress. Give them what they are looking for.

What does predict success in college, graduate school attendance, and higher future earnings are high GPAs and standardized test scores. Your child should therefore focus, first and foremost, on getting good grades. Your child should also take advanced placement (AP) courses if they are offered. Taking AP courses are a proxy for how one can handle college courses. Admissions committees have greater confidence in applicants who have taken AP courses.

Some colleges and universities offer dual enrollment agreements, whereby high school students can take courses at both institutions and earn college credit. If there is a nearby college or university, investigate if this is an option for your child. If your child qualifies for such a program, it will be an opportunity to see if he or she can handle college-level work and, if so, get a head start on a college career.

Gain Real-World Experience

Making connections with college and university professors is a sound strategy. If you live near a college or university, have your child make an appointment with a professor and ask if he or she can serve as a research assistant, even if unpaid. Although the position might consist of completing minor tasks, such as making photocopies or fetching books from the library, such a connection can pay off. Performing these tasks competently could lead to the professor giving your child greater responsibilities. The professor might also agree to write a letter of recommendation for your child. This would strengthen his or her college application. Admission committees normally give much greater weight to letters of recommendation from academics, as opposed to nonacademic employers. Other benefits include gaining work experience and becoming acclimated to the world of higher education.

Internships, which provide an introduction to a specific professional field, are a good way for high school students to gain work experience, make valuable personal connections, and explore their interests before they commit to a college major. Some internships are paid, though most are not, so keep this in mind when your child is applying for one. The main thing to consider, however, is how much the internship will benefit your child and better prepare him or her for college.

An alternative to an internship is to become a volunteer. Volunteering at a local homeless shelter, food bank, hospital, nursing home, library, animal shelter, or museum will give the student work experience while helping others at the same time. High school students can join or start a Red Cross Club. Students who have a special skill or in-depth knowledge about a particular subject can serve as volunteer tutors. And volunteering in an area which interests your child is another good way to prepare him or her for college.

If it is in your budget, consider having your child travel abroad. Foreign travel is a wonderful way to learn about the rest of the world. Studying a subject in the classroom is much more interesting if you have visited the place you are reading about. Equally important, admission committees see foreign travel in a positive light because it appeals to the cosmopolitan nature of the university.

Acquire a Skill

If your child loves music, encourage him or her to learn to play a musical instrument. There are many benefits that flow from playing an instrument, from stimulating inner creativity to relieving stress to gaining self-confidence. Some studies have shown that playing a musical instrument is good for your brain because it requires the involvement of the central nervous system. Playing an instrument is yet another way to impress admission committees. And if your child develops exceptional musical ability, it could even lead to a scholarship and career opportunities.

Talk About What Lies Ahead

Many students who go off to college will be living on their own for the first time. In anticipation of this milestone, you should have an open and honest conversation with your child about the journey to becoming an independent adult. Teach them how to make dental and doctor’s appointments, how to prepare a meal, do laundry, make and manage a schedule, pay bills, and make and stick to a budget. Knowing these life skills will enable students to focus on their studies and not stress over navigating life outside the classroom.

Provide Informal Education

If your school isn’t providing instruction in certain subjects, or if the instruction given is not rigorous enough, consider taking matters into your own hands. Join forces with like-minded parents with school-age children to establish informal Saturday/Sunday courses for the kids. For example, an organization in my city that offers lessons in basic Chinese reached an agreement with my university that allows the group’s members to use classrooms on the weekend. Dozens of parents bring their children to campus on Saturdays and Sundays to attend classes.  Contact your local high school, college, or library to inquire if space is available on the weekends for informal classes. If properly conducted, informal sessions in any subject can do an excellent job helping prepare students for college.

Choose the “Right” School

Choose the school that is right for the student. What is right depends on several factors: the degrees offered, the cost of tuition, available aid packages, the location, placement rate, retention rate, and whether the school aligns with your child’s motivation, preparation, and academic ability.

If your child has academic potential, but is still not yet ready, consider enrolling him or her in a community college to start. If that works out, then in a year or two your child can transfer to a more prestigious and academically rigorous institution.

Don’t choose a school because of its sports teams, or because it’s a relative’s alma mater, or for any other superfluous reason. Don’t be fooled by a school’s fancy website or its glossy information booklet. This advertising is carefully curated to paint a beautiful picture of the school while leaving out unflattering images. It is public relations, pure and simple. You should peek behind the curtain to see what they are not showing you.

Consider a variety of small, medium, and large schools. At least consider schools that are outside your immediate area. Some schools are looking for geographic diversity and are willing to accept and even provide extra aid to students from underrepresented locations. Schools located outside the United States are also an option, though that requires you to invest more time and energy than you would when researching a school closer to home.

Arrange a campus visit. If it’s out of town, see if your child’s high school can organize a group visit. This could be useful if an overnight stay is planned, as your high school might be able to negotiate a group rate for lodging and meals. The group could also arrange to have a special tour of the campus.

Prepare in advance for your visit. Explore the college’s official website and review any materials the college has sent you. This will help you come up with questions specific to that college. Make a list of questions to ask staff, students, and professors. Some potential questions include:

• What are the best reasons to go to this college?

• What’s it like to go from high school to college?

• What do students here do in their free time? On the weekends?

• Do students here need a car?

• What do you love about this college?

• What do you wish you could change about this college?

• Why did you choose this college?

• What is it like to live here?

• Is the campus safe?

• What is the four-year or six-year completion rate?

• What is the retention rate?

Campus tours are usually led by college students who extoll the virtues of their institution. For this reason, carve out time to do things on your own. Walk around the public area. You should also do the following:

• Visit the dining hall, fitness center, library, career center, bookstore, and other campus facilities.

• Talk to the coaches of sports that the student may want to play.

• Walk or drive around the community surrounding the campus.

• Get the names of the people you meet and their contact information so you can reach them later if you have questions.

Take notes and compare them with those of other parents.

You should also arrange to meet professors, especially those who teach your child’s intended major. Ask if you can sit in on lectures to see if the instructor can engage the audience while still providing real intellectual substance. Ask for syllabi to see what is expected of students.

Meet with an admissions officer. Ask this person to explain the admissions process. Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions, such as:

• What is the acceptance rate?

• What is the student-to-advisor ratio in health advising at this college?

• How do students normally pay for tuition and housing?

• What is the gender balance at this school?

• How much crime is there in the vicinity?

Apply for all available scholarships and fellowships. Pick up financial aid forms. Meet with a financial aid officer.

Explore the college’s official website and review any materials the college has sent you. If they haven’t sent you any material, request that they do so and read it over carefully. This will help you come up with questions specific to that college.

Write a Strong Personal Statement

Some colleges and universities no longer require the SAT, so they place greater weight on other parts of the application, including the personal statement. To ensure that your child crafts a compelling statement, he or she should take as many writing courses as possible. Ask your child ­­­to practice writing a statement months before the application is due—not the night before.

If you are acquainted with college professors, ask them if they would be willing to read the statement and offer their candid assessment. You can also ask teachers at your child’s high school to review and comment on the statement.

Seek Advice

Contact parent support groups. Speak to parents who like you are sending their first child off to school. You should also talk to parents who have children still in college and those whose children have recently graduated.

Set High Standards

If you swing for the fences, don’t expect a steady stream of fastballs down the middle of the plate. Expect instead some curveballs and maybe even a few brushbacks. This is all to the good.

Preparing your child for college should not be an esoteric exercise known only to a chosen few. There are steps all parents can take to improve their children’s odds of being selected by the college that is best suited for them.

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Michael H. Creswell is Associate Professor of History at Florida State University, the author of A Question of Balance: How France and the United States Created Cold War Europe, and an executive editor at History: Reviews of New Books. A specialist on the Cold War, Creswell is currently writing a book that examines the increasing difficulties Americans have in communicating in socially and politically productive ways. He has published previously in the Journal of Free Black Thought here, here, here, here, here, and here.