Radical Grace
Give a transformative gift
Christmas edition
RADICAL GRACE
Give a transformative gift
Jewel Kinch-Thomas
A New York Times Magazine advice column from 2021 featured a query from a woman lamenting the treatment of an elder black woman who was harassed by two white men as they waited behind her in line. The men kept moving up close behind the elder (what social distancing?), as they taunted and berated her for moving too slowly and shuffling. She ignored them. Witnessing this bad behavior, the advice-seeker was obviously disturbed enough to write in for suggestions on what she could have done to help the elder. When we fail to act in similar instances, it can weigh heavily on our heart and our soul yearns to correct the wrong perpetrated on another.
Some time back, I wrote a post for my Tune Into Leadership blog entitled “Soulful Grace in the Face of Adversity.” I was moved and inspired by the many instances I was seeing of individuals doing something they didn’t have to do in mindfulness of the needs of another person. Whether it was Christian Cooper, the Central Park birdwatcher, defending the right to a livelihood of Amy Cooper, who had called the police on him, or Jacob Blake Jr.’s mother, Julia Jackson, praying with a police officer after Jacob was shot seven times by another officer. These moments of Grace illuminate the best in us and speak to a greater purpose beyond ourselves.
We need radical Grace—intentional, beautiful, conscious human-to-human gifting of Spirit Blessings that strengthen our connective tissue and fortify our physical and psychological wellbeing. We need to be purposeful about recognizing and acting from this place of Being.
Mickey Guyton is the first black female solo artist to be nominated for a Grammy in country music. She was also the first black female artist to co-host the Academy of Country Music Awards last year. Guyton talked recently about the challenge of getting to this point in her career and the strength it took to keep going. The result of writing her truth, as encouraged by her husband, Grand Savoy, was the Grammy-nominated “Black Like Me.” Guyton recounted an instance when she did a signing after a show: as she was about to hug a fan, someone walked by and said, “Everybody’s waiting for the ‘n’ word”—to which Guyton replied, “God Bless you.”
A radical gifting of Grace…
A Network of Grace
Consider a version of radical Grace in nature: mycorrhizal fungi networks are vast, interdependent, subterranean systems that facilitate resource sharing. Millions of species of fungi and roots of trees form interconnected webs throughout the woods. In constant dialogue, the trees communicate with each other to transfer water, nitrogen, carbon and other minerals as needed. Hub trees (older, more seasoned “mother trees”) detect the ill health of their neighbors from distress signals and send them needed nutrients. Research suggests that trees have developed complex symbiotic relationships for species survival. Connectivity and exchange are integral to the mycorrhizal network.
We could do well with more connectivity and exchange.
A Home Run Leads to Grace
Josh Scott and his father James are diehard Philly baseball fans. Last year, they drove four hours from North Carolina to Atlanta for the Braves vs. Philly game.
It was Josh’s first game, and they made an agreement that if he caught a Braves home run ball, he would throw it back. Josh caught and dropped a Braves home run ball twice. When he finally secured the ball, he did something contrary to the agreement he made with his father. Josh tossed the ball to a young fan wearing a Braves jersey.
Josh’s father said that this is simply Josh’s “normal and natural rhythm.” When asked what prompted him to give the ball away, Josh said, “That’s just how our family rolls. I was just trying to brighten someone’s day and it went viral. I was like ‘Wow.’ All I was doing was giving him a ball.” He added, “You doing anything to brighten someone’s day can change a person’s mindset. You can always help other people. Small acts of kindness can meet a lot.”
A radical gifting of Grace…
Grace is not only for special or traumatic situations—and it should not be reserved for those we care about the most. When you do something unexpected for someone whom you may not even know, or for someone who may or may not be deserving, it raises the bar for all of us to aspire to.
What if, like the mycorrhizal network, we help facilitate the health and wellbeing of all those around us every instance of every day that we are able?
What would it look like if we were the bearers of radical Grace and made gifting it to people our normal and natural rhythm?
Kylah Spring’s radical grace
Kylah Spring is a freshman at the University of Kentucky. She appeared with her mother, Betsy Spring, on CBS Mornings to speak out about being assaulted and denigrated by a fellow student—a white female senior. During the ten-minute assault, which took place this November, the attacker, Sophie Rosing, used the “n” word some 200 times, as she kicked, hit, and even attempted to bite Kylah. Rosing has yet to apologize.
The story was horrific, maddening. I felt all levels of emotional reaction—from anger at the dehumanizing treatment to a sense of pride in the measured response of the young woman at the brunt of said treatment. It is both inspiring and infuriating to highlight these stories. An undeniable level of integrity and strength displayed in moments of devastating treatment is what makes it crucial to recognize them.
Standing in her truth, before a crowd of supporters on the college campus, Kylah started her remarks: “My name is Kylah Spring. My name is Kylah Spring,” as tears streamed down her face.
During the interview, Kylah’s mother, Betsy, apologized to her for initially suggesting that she should not speak publicly—out of fear of what else could possibly happen to her daughter. When one of the CBS interviewers asked why Kylah had not met the physical attack against her with a violent counterattack, Betsy said, “Love is an appropriate way to fight back. Respect, honor, and grace is also fighting back.” Kylah added that she hoped this would be an opportunity for growth for her attacker and those who thought like her.
According to Betsy, both she and Kylah “realized the magnitude of who she [Kylah] was” as a result of her poised, graceful response to her traumatic experience. Whatever her life path, I feel assured that Kylah’s leadership qualities of empathy, courage, integrity, and resilience will continue to serve her and all those around her well as she navigates the vicissitudes of life.
This Christmas season, all across the nation, Americans will be gifting millions of dollars in material things to friends and family. Radical Grace is a soulful gift that we can give not only to friends and family but also to strangers and even to those who wish us ill or who have attempted to hurt us. It is a gift that can bring deeper, more long-lasting impact for both giver and the receiver.
Jewel Kinch-Thomas is COO and Co-Founder of the Jazz Leadership Project (JLP), a high-performance model to develop leadership and enhance group cohesion through the principles and practices of jazz. JLP works with companies such as Google, Verizon, JPMorgan Chase, Verizon, and TD Bank. Jewel also serves as a coaching consultant for cohort and individual leadership programs. With 20+ years as an executive arts leader, Jewel is lead producer for the annual Juneteenth event at Carnegie Hall. Jewel is an alum of Columbia University’s Arts Leadership Institute and the Women & Power: Leadership for the 21st Century program at Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government. She blogs at Tune In To Leadership, where a previous version of this article appeared earlier this month.
Thank you for these inspiring stories!
Merry Christmas, Ms Jewel Kinch-Thomas! This is a beautiful piece and your message is not lost: I, for one, will try to give the gift of transformative grace, and encourage others to do so.