Beginning from confusion to enlightment, this powerful, introspective, relatable, well written story should be on the front page of the New York Times.
Echo chambers that you occupied were the real equivalent of emotionally abusive relationships. Once in them, it's quite difficult to get out--you become used to them and anything else is uncomfortably...normal. People have gotten so used to not being normal [read: rational] that acting as if actions and thoughts have actual consequences is uncomfortable. It's certainly unfamiliar.
You're more optimistic about humanity than I am. But I hope you're right. I really do.
Your beautiful essay makes me know you're a great mother, and your child will be less at risk of mental illness and instability because you choose to look at our common humanity. What a great foundation.
Boy, it was technologically a huge challenge to post here. This is my fourth attempt at sending my response to this beautiful woman. All I can say is wow! Kudos to your incredible courage and honesty with yourself. Something most of us avoid as the plague. 76-year-old Woman, here follower of Christ, from Middle Eastern heritage, I was very much touched by your authenticity. Articulation of your progression of your thoughts from where you were to where you are now. I’m not surprised you’ve lost friendships. I was told along time ago or read it Somewhere cannot remember, that if you think for yourself , and develop your own convictions, you will find yourself lonely. Or if you’re blessed like I am, you will find one or two other individuals that come alongside of you and encourage you and believing you. I’m excited for you!
Yes. Making it personal is always a terrible trap. We get caught at the level of those doing the most harm - those who see themselves victimized by our presence, and therefore required to hurt us. But then there are those who build walls, brotherhoods, sisterhood, instititions, schools of thought that all support fear, anger and victimhood - against their victims. And the chickens come home to roost daily. Wading into that world, looking for solutions and ways to make the infirmed nature of it healthy, takes the courage of not taking sides, but of avoiding the pitfalls and seeking light. Find joy in the journey. It is a good one.
Excellent piece!! Loved your line... My faith in the goodness of humanity prevails. I know that there are people who genuinely wish to create a fairer and more equal world, and I commend the pure hearted among us. ..
Once wrote an article (buried deep in my Substack posts from a few years ago) called 'Forgive and Forget'. I also wrote one called 'I see the Goodness: In People. And that is what we need to do. See the goodness in others, regardless of their sex, race, religion, political persuasion. See it in all of us created in the Image and Likeness of Him. After all He left us with two commandments the second of which is, "Love one another as I have loved you."
Your story is compelling. I've been through a similar journey in seeking a grounding framework following a shunning by a close friend for stating that I will never believe a man is a woman if he says so. Releasing friendships has been difficult, and I appreciate how you've made the distinction - character vs identity. I wonder if the distinction pivots on our view of human nature: A) "we all share the same capacity for the darkness of destruction and disorder as we do for the light of harmony and truth", (i agree) and the view of the identitarian-progressives who believe B) humans are always on a trajectory toward being "better" (a utopia) and that all that is required is more government/rules/education/censorship/mandates/regulation etc? AND from the progressives it is morally just to push the latter view at all costs.
Thank you for writing. Are leftist the only ones susceptible to echo chambers? Is everyone who votes democrat a leftist who prioritizes victimhood? Are there some policies and principles that come from leftist that are worthy of consideration? I wonder if any echo chambers exist at FBT?
There are absolutely some policies and ideologies from the Left that have merit. People who vote Democrat are certainly not the only ones who are susceptible to getting stuck in echo chambers.
Thank you for sharing this! I have a similar story of coming to my senses as well (with some obvious differences . . . ). Also, “bred and buttered” in your bio is hilarious and I wish I came up with it 😂
Wonderful stuff. I think people of all identity groups have been through similar. It takes bravery to stand up against a mob, especially when it includes your friends, it's like redefining your identity from the cell outwards. Painful as that is, you find out who your real friends are and realise that those who you disagree with aren't your enemies.
I suspect, like many of us, you're just not wired to agree under threat of excommunication and you'll live a far more honest and fulfilling life as a result. Leave them to their resentments and fragile certainty, curiosity and honesty are far superior ways to live a life.
Beginning from confusion to enlightment, this powerful, introspective, relatable, well written story should be on the front page of the New York Times.
I cannot thank you enough for writing this. It's as if I was reading my own story. Thank you.
Welcome to the big squishy middle lands! We don’t yell much, but we do get cookies!
Echo chambers that you occupied were the real equivalent of emotionally abusive relationships. Once in them, it's quite difficult to get out--you become used to them and anything else is uncomfortably...normal. People have gotten so used to not being normal [read: rational] that acting as if actions and thoughts have actual consequences is uncomfortable. It's certainly unfamiliar.
You're more optimistic about humanity than I am. But I hope you're right. I really do.
I try to hold on to optimism. I'm a mother — an optimistic mindset keeps me hopeful for my baby's future. 🙏🏾🫠
Your beautiful essay makes me know you're a great mother, and your child will be less at risk of mental illness and instability because you choose to look at our common humanity. What a great foundation.
Boy, it was technologically a huge challenge to post here. This is my fourth attempt at sending my response to this beautiful woman. All I can say is wow! Kudos to your incredible courage and honesty with yourself. Something most of us avoid as the plague. 76-year-old Woman, here follower of Christ, from Middle Eastern heritage, I was very much touched by your authenticity. Articulation of your progression of your thoughts from where you were to where you are now. I’m not surprised you’ve lost friendships. I was told along time ago or read it Somewhere cannot remember, that if you think for yourself , and develop your own convictions, you will find yourself lonely. Or if you’re blessed like I am, you will find one or two other individuals that come alongside of you and encourage you and believing you. I’m excited for you!
What a beautiful sentiment and encouragement!
Thank you. 🙏🏾💜
Yes. Making it personal is always a terrible trap. We get caught at the level of those doing the most harm - those who see themselves victimized by our presence, and therefore required to hurt us. But then there are those who build walls, brotherhoods, sisterhood, instititions, schools of thought that all support fear, anger and victimhood - against their victims. And the chickens come home to roost daily. Wading into that world, looking for solutions and ways to make the infirmed nature of it healthy, takes the courage of not taking sides, but of avoiding the pitfalls and seeking light. Find joy in the journey. It is a good one.
Excellent piece!! Loved your line... My faith in the goodness of humanity prevails. I know that there are people who genuinely wish to create a fairer and more equal world, and I commend the pure hearted among us. ..
Once wrote an article (buried deep in my Substack posts from a few years ago) called 'Forgive and Forget'. I also wrote one called 'I see the Goodness: In People. And that is what we need to do. See the goodness in others, regardless of their sex, race, religion, political persuasion. See it in all of us created in the Image and Likeness of Him. After all He left us with two commandments the second of which is, "Love one another as I have loved you."
Your insight and thoughtful self reflection are truly inspiring! Don’t stop!!
Your story is compelling. I've been through a similar journey in seeking a grounding framework following a shunning by a close friend for stating that I will never believe a man is a woman if he says so. Releasing friendships has been difficult, and I appreciate how you've made the distinction - character vs identity. I wonder if the distinction pivots on our view of human nature: A) "we all share the same capacity for the darkness of destruction and disorder as we do for the light of harmony and truth", (i agree) and the view of the identitarian-progressives who believe B) humans are always on a trajectory toward being "better" (a utopia) and that all that is required is more government/rules/education/censorship/mandates/regulation etc? AND from the progressives it is morally just to push the latter view at all costs.
Thank you for writing. Are leftist the only ones susceptible to echo chambers? Is everyone who votes democrat a leftist who prioritizes victimhood? Are there some policies and principles that come from leftist that are worthy of consideration? I wonder if any echo chambers exist at FBT?
There are absolutely some policies and ideologies from the Left that have merit. People who vote Democrat are certainly not the only ones who are susceptible to getting stuck in echo chambers.
Currently, Leftism is loud and dominant.
Yep, and literally controls almost every institution in the US, at most levels of government and in popular culture.
Can you expand on what you mean? Provide an example of leftist control in an institution. You will probably have to define leftism as well.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s an important one that I hope will serve as a model and guide for others.
As a Venn Diagram, the intersection Losers and the people who regard themselves as Victims is about 100%.
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this! I have a similar story of coming to my senses as well (with some obvious differences . . . ). Also, “bred and buttered” in your bio is hilarious and I wish I came up with it 😂
Wonderful stuff. I think people of all identity groups have been through similar. It takes bravery to stand up against a mob, especially when it includes your friends, it's like redefining your identity from the cell outwards. Painful as that is, you find out who your real friends are and realise that those who you disagree with aren't your enemies.
I suspect, like many of us, you're just not wired to agree under threat of excommunication and you'll live a far more honest and fulfilling life as a result. Leave them to their resentments and fragile certainty, curiosity and honesty are far superior ways to live a life.
AMEN! You are courageous and honest. Great combo. Hope more people are inspired by your example.